I went in alone to my doctors appointment in pretty bad pain. No visitors were allowed because there was something called the corona virus that was maybe going around. It started with bats in China? I was having contractions close together. I was only 35 weeks along.
The doctor checked and I was 2cm dilated. I was admitted to labor and delivery. Alone.
I keep saying alone and some of you are reading this like ya we know. We had babies and had to wear a mask and had no visitors. Well, when I went in it was mid March. We had no idea that 6 months later wearing a mask and social distancing was going to be our new normal.
We were told if the babies went to the NICU only mom could go in. The NICU was already a fear of mine, it is 100% a trigger but to not have Nick there to support me and be with his children broke my heart.
I was contracting but not progressing. Days went by, Nick was with me during the day but went home to be with lily at night.
I was allowed to walk the halls but families with babies were advised not to. I didn’t have to wear a mask, I did however try to distance myself if I saw someone walking.
Worst part about my whole stay was we weren’t allowed in the kitchen. Nick couldn’t get me snacks or water or anything. We had to call a nurse anytime I wanted someone. I felt bad I had to annoy them. That’s not what they went to school for and they had other patients to take care of. Bless their souls dealing with me for so long.
One day New York stated they weren’t letting anyone come and go from the hospitals anymore. I immediately asked my nurse about it and they suggested the next time nick comes back to the hospital he should stay until we had the boys.
I went back and forth between boarding in the mother baby unit to labor and delivery because of contractions.
I finally was 36w and the doctors decided to induce me. I had already been given steroid shots for the boys lungs to better develop. As well as multiple shots a day to help with blood clots since I practically laid in bed all day everyday. The shots were given to me in the back of my arm, where you would get a bruise if someone grabbed you with excessive force. Which is what every. single. nurse thought when they saw me. Huge bruises that looked like I was being abused. They’d ask how things were and if I felt safe and what happened. I’d hAve to explain the shots gave me the bruises not my husband🤣
The doctors were finally comfortable with how far along I was, the boys weight and health so we started the process.
The longgggg process. Many strong contractions only a minute apart but nothing was happening. Due to a twin pregnancy I had to delivery in the OR. I was slightly nervous but also didn’t care, I was ready for my boys to be with me. I had an epidural that ended up not working even after it was adjusted. I was given two more doses of a different medicine that also didn’t work. I delivered the twins with no pain relief. None. I did it but it wasn’t pretty and I wouldn’t purposely do it again.
I was told from day one, the first baby comes out and then the second just falls out. Baby B would be my fourth baby anyway so he definitely was just going to fall out, right? WRONG! I pushed Cooper out after only a few pushes and then THREE HOURS later Wyatt decided he wanted to join us. I couldn’t push because the contractions hurt so bad.
My hips completely locked up. After each contraction I would then push which if you’ve never had a baby, that’s not how you’re suppose to do it. You should use your contractions to help you push. I cried and begged the doctors to pull him out or cut him, anything, I just didn’t want the pain anymore. They would smile and tell me I was doing great and it wouldn’t be much longer😑
The doctors switched and nurses switched. They were having their own conversations and laughing. Nick was snuggling Cooper and I continued to beg the doctors to cut Wyatt out of me. I finally had had enough and one big push after another Wyatt joined the world three hours after his brother.
I didn’t really want anything to do with either boy. I was so nervous something was wrong. I was nervous they’d be taken from me again. I was nervous they’d die in my arms. But also, I lost a lot of blood. I needed more medicine because they couldn’t get my placenta out and were nervous a piece would get stuck and cause hemorrhaging.
Both babes were healthy. We had heard that before though. I was brought back to my room. It was time to breastfeed them. I knew this was going to be a trigger for me so I had already warned the nurse I needed some support because of how scared I was. Both boys did great. Things were going well.
We settled into our room in the mother baby unit. I was feeling off due to the blood loss. I ended up needing another transfusion. This was no surprise to any of us, we assumed I would need it. Once that happened I felt great. It was my second time getting it but still very strange knowing someone else’s blood was going in me.
Identical twin boys… luckily they had bracelets on and their hats had their names. Every test they took I was fearful they’d be taken away from me. Every time I nursed I was fearful they’d turn blue like Weston.
I was sad lily wasn’t there when I had them. Worried she may never be able to meet them. We FaceTimed and she couldn’t wait for us to get home. We thought it’d only be a day or two until we could all be together in our own home. Things were great until the day after they were born, Wyatt started pooping blood.
Here it is, nothing is ever easy. He had lots of tests done, each time they took him I assumed I wouldn’t see him again. But everything came back normal. What was happening to my precious boy?! Then cooper started pooping blood. My poor boys, how strange they both are having the same issue (they are identical but was this too coincidental?!).
We were deemed an infectious disease room until the doctors could get poop samples to test for ecoli. We were running out of ideas of what could be wrong.
It was embarrassing. No one wanted to be in our room. They had to be completed covered with mask, gowns, and gloves. Why us. Why can’t we have something go as planned for once?! Even if someone simply opened the door to ask what I needed they had to have their PPE and then they would throw it out. I kept expressing my frustrations to Nick because this was when the PPE shortage was beginning. Why do they have to wear it just to open the door!? There are so many nurses that need those and the aids are throwing them out like it was nothing!
Finally, the gastrointestinal doctor said he thought the boys were both severely allergic to milk protein. He said typically it takes about two weeks before seeing symptoms so this would mean they were highly allergic. He suggest I stop nursing right away and start them on a prescription formula. I was told I could take all milk protein and soy out of my diet and hope that helped if I wanted to continue nursing. He couldn’t promise that was what caused the reaction since the boys weren’t tested. So it would have been trial and error of my diet, at the expense of my babies health. I was nervous I would mess up and eat the wrong things and cause them pain so we decided to stick with the formula.
Thank heavens for insurance. Not only was IVF covered 100% but the boys formula was too. It was going to be something like $500 or $1,000 a month!
We finally were discharged and ready to go home. Ready for lily to meet her baby brothers. WE WERE LEAVING WITH OUR BABIES! I feel the excitement all over again just writing it.
And finally I was able to be the crazy mom telling my husband not to drive too fast and constantly looking to make sure the boys were breathing.